The pornography of golf

Designers of the U.S. Open course at the Olympic Club may not have been into causing pain, says Janice Hough, "but the video of the tournament may be subtitled '50 Shades of Green.' "

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Best dressed:

-- Noting that the town was packed with golfers, "Ms. Robinson" was "kind of appalled at the number of short-sleeved untucked shirts I saw men wearing at Gary Danko on Saturday night. ... Luckily the food overcame any fashion faux pas." Ms. Robinson was there, she said, for a "goodbye, sweet goose" five-course foie-gras tasting menu.

-- I noticed after the opening of "American Idiot" that there was a much larger than usual line in the lobby buying show-related items, especially T-shirts imprinted with the show's name, which is a kind of surprising thing for wearers to declare about themselves.

-- Sylvia Rubin was at Freight & Salvage in Berkeley last week to hear Rodney Crowell, guitarist Steuart Smith and writer Mary Karr, who collaborated on songs for Crowell's new album. For the first half of the show, she says, Karr "just sat on a stool" next to Crowell, "swaying with the music, saying at one point, after he asked her to sing for the second or third time, 'I'd rather pull my pants down. Really.' "

-- Lesson 931 in how to mortify one's offspring: At Cowell College graduation at UC Santa Cruz, Elise Fortin overheard a classmate moan, "Oh my God, my mom's wearing a visor!"

-- Preparing for Pride, Joe Mac observes that "gays dress well. We didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing."

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-- In the spirit of the week, 45 swimmers from the Dolphin and South End Clubs participated in what they hope will be their first annual Gay Pride Swim (pilots carried rainbow flags) on Sunday, from the wave organ to Aquatic Park.

-- The night after Kim Novak was honored by the San Francisco Historical Society, she took in a performance of "Beach Blanket Babylon," staying after the show to chat with the cast and sign souvenirs of the occasion.

-- Natalie Merchant, who performed with her band and the S.F. Symphony on Monday, grew up in upstate New York, where her parents took her to see Michael Tilson Thomas conduct the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra. He was music director there in the '70s, and she recalls asking him for an autograph, the first such request she'd ever made. The maestro returned that gesture of respect and admiration by attending her Monday show.

-- Meanwhile, Monica Conrady noticed that the quotes of well-known folks on the walls at Credo Bar and Restaurant include "I believe that newspapers will reach new heights," which was said by Rupert Murdoch, who apparently has trouble distinguishing up from down.

-- Following up: That Henry Africa's Collection of Magnificent Tiffany Lamps, auctioned at Christie's last week, fetched $826,750 (including one lamp, a Wisteria, that sold for $602,500). The Dirk van Erp chandelier fetched $60,000.

-- In answer to Mark Troy's complaint about paying $2 fare for his dog while he, a senior citizen, pays 75 cents, Robert Callwell looked up Muni regs: "Pet owners must pay a fare equal to their own for their pet to ride." Pepi has been ripped off.

-- H.J. sends along a Craigslist part-time job listing for an assistant goat herder. "Ideal candidate is one with a positive attitude," it says, so goat dissers need not apply.

-- Best-ever Bay Area delivery of a Father's Day card: Out on the water Sunday, Bobby Gallia, who works on the Hog Heaven salmon fishing charter boat out of Sausalito, placed a card inside a clear plastic bag, blew up the bag, secured the top and waited. Suddenly, the El Dorado, a boat out of Berkeley, appeared in the mist. Hog Heaven Capt. Sean Hodges maneuvered his boat a bit, and then the El Dorado was close enough for Bobby to toss the bag over the starboard rail, where a big net was cast from the El Dorado and the bag was hauled in. The captain of the Berkeley boat is Robert Gallia, Bobby's dad.

P.S.: Ronan Farrow, son of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen, tweeted on Sunday, "Happy Father's Day ... or as we call it in my house, happy brother-in-law day."

Public Eavesdropping

"We couldn't be any more gay, and we simply do not understand why we don't have any gay friends."

Woman overheard at Little Dom's in Los Angeles by D.B.

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